“The long haul”

The long haul…

Be with me always: take any form, drive me mad! Only do not leave me in this abyss, so ghastly deep almost melting the naphtha of my eyes, where I can’t find you”, he dragged along the path she was about to take, sobbing and begging for few more moments before the long haul but that’s how the curse worked maybe. He wasn’t entirely sure of the life it would turn for him from now on. She was dying.

For one final word, tear smeared eyes, trembling body, numbing mind, for one first and final time, he turned towards her. She still on the boat, covered in mud and agony, princess of porcelain, hazel brown eyes showing the veracity of her life to follow. She turned around and held him in her arms for one last final time, “Promise me something, will you my prince”? She finally broke the words. He hugged her even tighter with her tears wetting his shirt. You are going to show this world what I am giving up my life for, make our story live. Even if it takes your entire life, consumes you whole, you will make sure that day will come. Until, then you will do amazing things, the fire in your belly will keep you going while I would watch you from the sidelines. Always remember you are a miracle and that I love you. These were the only words she could muster to voice before breaking into a slumber for eternity.

Once upon a time, there was a prince. He was from the world of stars with enchanted castles and dragons and unicorns, lush green forests and beautiful rivers and she was a fairy from the world of mirrors. He was from a world close to her yet metaphorically several light years away. She used to see his beautiful world through the mirrors for the curse was upon her that ever she looks down at his world she would die.

She was happy in her life, doing her weaving and knitting while singing. Her melodious voice would fill up the worlds with joy. She used to see the prince through her mirrors. She was happy in her world yet not entirely, the only time she would get sad was when she used to see the prince through her mirrors and she was in love with him. Her voice was like the chirping of the cuckoo bird satiated with the depth of an ocean. Every day she would sing songs of lost love and wars and fairy lands and he would listen to her songs wondering about who would be singing those ballads. Not long before he knew he was in love with her. He didn’t want to wait to realize that he shouldn’t have waited and decided to seek the voice.
She had a curse upon her so she couldn’t leave and seek him and he could not find her as she was in a different fairy world. Years went by, marked by the annual revolutions of the earth and their agony became a scare, nothing could heal. They loved each other. Her voice was like the air he breathed, that inhibited him for a moment at least, consuming him whole at a time, not visible yet necessary. He held a special place in her heart. Like a reserved sign on a corner table in a restaurant despite the fact that she might never meet him. There are ways of dying, the silent excruciation deaths which doesn’t results in funerals. The type of deaths you can’t smell.

He only thought about her whenever he was happy, whenever he was sad, wherever he saw something beautiful. To seek her out was like a burning lamp in his chest that winds couldn’t blew out. A voice that guided him amidst the darkness and brought him home. The fairy felt no different. Some days she felt strong, some days she felt fragile and other days she felt strong and fragile but one feeling that kept her going was his love. She had in some parallel universe become his journey that never ended by kept changing directions and kept going. Whenever she saw him in the mirror, dew drops would appear in her eyes running down in perilous design just like a loose thread on your favorite tunic, you can’t resist pulling despite knowing that it can unravel everything.

Time went by and her patience jaded. She was tired of the pretence of her living. She was tired of her enchanted life, voluptuous yet imprisoned. She saw the shadow of the prince in her mirror, gloomy and heart-struck. She couldn’t resist anymore. She stood up leaving her harp on the floor. Yearning for his prince’s love, she turned and looked out at the world of stars. As soon as she did that, her world of mirrors broke. Shattering shards of glass everywhere in zillion little pieces and she knew at once that curse was upon her and her time is near.

She ran out into the world of stars singing for the prince to know. To go into the enchanted castle in which the prince dwelled, she had to cross a river. She took a boat from the side of the river and climbed into it. She knew her time was near but she was more and more sure and happy. She finally broke her cage and was willing to pay the price. She followed her heart and chose not to settle. She felt like a weight lifted from her mind, she felt the sun shining a bit brighter and breeze getting a little breezier. And for a brief moment maybe she found peace. She felt drained while singing and rowing the boat, seeking her prince.

It might seem madness that she was willing to give her life for a brief moment of peace but then isn’t that what love is all about? It’s not rational obviously. It’s madness, a lovely, fantastic moment of sheer insanity. Love is like hypnosis. Sleep walking to the rhythm of voice, never willing to wake up.

He heard the fairy singing and ran out of his castle towards the direction from where the voice was coming from. In years for once he felt a burn in her heart as the voice felt nearer and yet he felt scared as the voice started to get drained. As the boat rowed closer to the coast, she sank deeper in the boat, covered in the beautiful white lilies and willow of the winter and autumn leaves bidding farewell. She smiling as she saw the prince and the prince stared in amazement: her muse. At once he caught the boat and pulled it aside. He looked at the fairy, porcelain white with hazel brown eyes. He held her long and she whispered something in his ear, I his arms she took her last breath and broke the curve forever. And then there she lied, covered in willow and lilies: his muse.

Time passed. He sat by her stone, putting a lily on her grave, smiling with a feeling of fulfillment he said,” as you whispered to me, love is the only thing that time can’t touch. See, after all this time, my love burns constant for you. Time is testament to this undying relentless ancient love of ours. A love I will carry with me forever, from eons to inches, back to you. Till then I will make it through the long haul and will keep weaving the endless threads of words. Words that will keep us both alive.

©Shilpi.

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